Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Mid-Afternoon Remembering

Certainly there are days I want to just REALLY stop, and not work on my business, and not even do the more meaningless rote tasks like washing dishes or balancing the checkbook. Today, I stayed in sweat pants all day. Stood up suddenly from the computer, made a quick lunch, walked out front with a quesadilla in hand, thinking I wanted to feel the sun, thinking I should get a chair and sit down, then stared into a shamelessly frilly and feminine fuschia hollyhock flower which was taking advantage of the Indian summer warmth to bloom outrageously, still eating my tortilla, then poked idly at the penstemon, rearranging a little branch, and there uncovered a praying mantis, just sitting on the stake that had been hidden. It turned its tiny triangle head to look at me. I gave it space, happily, honoring its amazing weirdness, feeling how it, too, was enjoying the late afternoon warmth.

Then thought how my body and soul know more about what's in the world, and where the good stuff is, than my mind can ever absorb. How just moving without thinking sometimes, leads you to wonders. How the mind grasps onto reasons for doing what you're doing: "I think I'll eat outside in the sun but I should sit in a chair." How you distract yourself from the mind's justifications and walk right into the wonders. How you can discover an amazing "presence" amidst the leaves without realizing you're even exploring. Was I responding to a "call"? It's these moments I crave, small connections that reaffirm the magic of spirit's underpinning of ordinary life, of finding the Surprise that lifts you beyond.

photo by Penney Peirce