Thursday, September 27, 2007

Eliminating Unnecessary Contraction
The last few days I've been becoming aware of my relationships — the ones that hold tension. I made a list of all the people I'm worried about; I feel them as disconnected from their true self in a way that could result in illness or death. I also listed people I feel contracted about because they have misinterpreted me and rejected me; there was a misfit of what they expected and what I offered, and there is a resulting feeling of guilt and fear in me — some old codependent panic in my gut about displeasing. Then there are the people who I have truly been insensitive to, and to whom I owe an apology.

I began meditating and sending heart energy to them, one by one, and I actually called a few and spoke my apologies to them, and said what was most important to me — that I didn't want to injure our friendship and I was sorry for being arrogant in any way. The ones I called were grateful and acknowledged the imbalance and rectification. I was so relieved. Then — surprise — 2 of the ones I simply meditated about actually called me out of the blue today and without much effort, just allowing the natural flow of conversation, all was made well again, as though the past had never gone wrong. It was magical.

My friend Henry Smiley, a wonderful intuitive in TN, wrote to me with a little "reading" the other day — again, sort of "out of the blue." He said: "Your skills and understanding continue to expand, but there exists an inconsistency in others to pursue their paths more fully. The inconsistency is, I think, a universal, latent energy that we all share in some form or another. There are so many 'themes' and 'concerns' in people's lives that they simply feel more inclined to sleep it away, be immobilized by fear, medicate it away, sexually repress it either by too much sexual expression or none at all, or just forget it 'til another day rolls around. There is a clear and present space where there are no needs. This is an inner space that affects the outward world. I think you are aware of this space. This is where your next ideas will flow from. They have emanated from this place in your life for decades now. You have yet to reach the expanse of your potential — no where near it, in fact."

Henry could have been speaking for all of us. Perhaps I wander a bit in my thoughts, but I am getting clearer and clearer that petty emotions and negative thinking, even positive thinking if it's locked into a structure, are SO in the way right now of us being all that we can be. I do not want to hold contractions in my mind, emotions, or body anymore. In fact, I cannot stand it! Reality TV is still glorifying the immature behavior of people whose growth was arrested at age 5 or so, but so many of us are moving rapidly beyond this drivel. We must act NOW, I sense, to refuse to hold contraction in ourselves, to be limited to such mental handicaps. It starts with feeling like a victim, with blaming, and moves into more expanded ego expressions, even to how we feel stymied politically — refusing to take action about an administration that is bankrupting the country and setting us up for failure due to underdeveloped character in our citizens, unrepaired infrastructure, uneducated children, unprepared emergency response systems, and rampant apathy.

Let us look for contractions in ourselves! Let us look for the places we've resigned ourselves to numbing entertainment and "news" that is more mind-controlling than mind-challenging. Let us make amends where we have been wrong. You cut someone off in traffic? Let the next guy in with a smile. Let us learn the art of blessing others in our inner mind, telepathically. Let us live without thinking that contraction is "normal."