in the mirror lately my body eyes cheeks skin
are morphing in and out of moist and dry realities
full and prescient, empty and vaguely worried
I don't quite recognize myself
am I aging or youthing?
today: subdermal heat
frustration builds for the lightning strike
too many tightly timed tasks, long distance errands
too much traffic, too many hotheads, too ahead and behind
stop for coffee
feel down into my Field in bookstore cafe
my body's normal tone,
butter smooth and sweet like a puppy,
is gritty and revving to a buzz saw whine
feel like a helicopter rotor winding up
about to lift outa here
been riding the jagged edge all day
is this too much will?
fear jackhammered loose from below?
the event wave of a coming catastrophe?
no, the voice inside says,
this is a new physical vibration passing through
activating all it touches, eating away the dullness
don't avoid it, don't make extra space for it
just match it
I fall in
the wave pools, overflows and dissolves, pools
and as it builds I feel myself,
have an identity thought, become self-conscious,
feel wooden, irritated, impatient, invisible,
overwhelmed, violated, motivated;
as it dissipates, identities evaporate into diamond light
relief, space, fresh air, no meaning
the three-year-old returns, smiles broadly
with uncontainable knowing
copyright by Penney Peirce 2011
